The beginning of a Narrcisitic Relationship
A young woman came into my office she looked worried, beaten down, you could see the fear and anxiety on her face.
She begin describing what her relationship with a narcissist felt like.
Her eyes widen.
It begin like a roller coaster ride it was fun, a lot of fun!
My heart skipped a beat!
An instant flood of emotions overwhelmed me.
Excitement and fear all at once.
is this real? Will I fall? This is so thrilling. I threw up my hands of caution as I reached the top of the ride. I closed my eyes. I never felt anything like this before. And the sex! The sex was amazing. He called himself THE BEAST!
Then it ends.
Almost without warning. I thought I saw the ending coming. I ignored the signs.
The handle bar lifts, it’s time to get off. Feeling forced I dismount the ride. That was a crazy, exhilarating ride!
I’m going to do it again. I ran between the rails as they twisted and turned my steps. Wait! There’s a line? Others are before me ? I have to wait in line? I have to wait my turn?
I listen to the whispers around me the talking. It’s the first time for some, second third, fourth, fifth time for others. I ignore the whispers...
Oh it’s my turn again. I’m anxious. I know what to expect I’ve been here before.
I get on. I buckle up. The ride begins it’s not the same it is different. The same ride, same car, even the same seat. It’s over! The ride comes to an abrupt stop.
Still scary. Still exciting. But it ended quicker. The effects of the thrill is gone but I find myself getting standing back in line.
Again I hear the whispers. It’s my first time it’s my second time, it’s my sixth time.
I glanced over the railing and I saw others holding their stomach regurgitating declaring, “I will never do that again”! They are the ones who escaped the crazy making of a narcissist and their hovering effecrs, they got away!
As I find myself getting back in line for one more ride.
What I have just described is a relationship with a narcissist and their hovering affect.
The first stage is love bombing. At this stage you are treated with the upmost respect, love and adoration. You feel on top of the world as if you are the only one in the life of the narcissist. You are being groomed to suit their needs.
There are others waiting in line to be love bombed by the narcissist. For some it’s their first time. For others, they consistently wait their turn to be serviced.
It is a world of pretend, make believe. It is methodically planned by the narcissist. You were chosen to take the ride. As a matter of fact everyone standing in line was chosen. Each person offered fuel for the narcissist tank. Some grade A. Some of lesser quality.
This robotic creature is devoid of feelings and emotions. They are incapable of love. They just need fuel to survive. You are the fuel, the place to stay, the identity of worth they need, the sexual toy, the money you give, or the ego you stroke. You gratify their need.
Then comes the fall!
But the thrill of the ride, the beckoning of the steel tracks woos you to do it again.
That’s the hovering stage.
The narcissist begins to love bomb their predator over and over again. This time the relationship is shorter, less thrilling but you find yourself yearning to repeat the first feelings of love. You are addicted to the narcissist.
Some people stay in a narcissistic relationship for life. Others are fortunate to get out, vowing never to return.
Don’t go back to a narcissist affair!
Get out! Stay out!
Go no contact! Go grey rock.
You are NOT running away...
You are taking care of your most prized possession. You!
You were only fuel for the narcissistic tank.
They may have been empty, half full or running on a third. They needed you. You were special, chosen to fill them up.
It’s time to leave.
Life with a narcissist does not get better in time. The longer you stay the more you give permission for their NARCISSISTIC ABUSE!
Long term, life with a narcissist affects your health and mental well-being. Their ultimate goal is your death. They hate you! They hate the good in you.
This is Dr. Chapman with Rhema Life Institute.
Where life coaching is uniquely designed with you in mind. www.rhemalifeinstitute.com